March 21, 2016
I drove down to Lutheran Hospital today to have an ultrasound done of my right breast.
(Rewind 5 weeks prior: The reason for ultrasound)
A little over a month ago I found a lump when I put my left hand almost in my right arm-pit. I have never been good at doing self breast exams, in fact I think I might have done one in college but that was really the extent. So when I found this lump it wasn’t a huge concern to me. I hear women find them often especially when breast feeding. So a few days later I scheduled an appointment with my doctor just to make sure.
When I saw my doctor she explained it was probably a blocked milk duct or a cyst that might have formed from fluctuating hormones during pregnancy and breastfeeding. She ordered me to come off all caffeine and take a Vitamin E supplement along with evening primrose and she wanted to see me in a month.
As the weeks went on Lenny was persistent and wanted me to do a more in depth exam with a specialist. I said I would after a month if that was necessary. As I was approaching a month I ended up just being proactive and called the Breast care center at Lutheran and scheduled an appointment. I knew this would make Lenny feel better and at least I could find out what the lump was.I wasn’t able to get a mammogram as I was still breast feeding so I was scheduled for an ultrasound.
As I drove down today, Charlie got sick and threw up in the car. I pulled over a little past Mary’s Glacier to clean her up and change her clothes. I was so glad I had one set of extra clothes. I was a bit nervous during the drive but kept asking God to help me be comforted. As I continued on my drive I had a small car that was a bit ahead of me to the left. I saw he had a bumper sticker in his window that read “Cancer.” I figured it was his zodiac sign. Then I began to wonder if this was a sign for me. I casted it out of my mind and felt maybe it was just evil in my head. He then went on. A few minutes later he was on my right hand side and I read the other sticker in his window that said “Play hard, fight hard.” I then thought, ok maybe Gods telling me I have cancer and I need to fight hard. Crazy right? Yes, pure craziness is what I thought and figured Im getting myself worked up over my own crazy thoughts. So I decided to stop it..lol.
Right before I made it to Lutheran Charlie threw up again. I went in and washed her clothes in the bathroom as I didn’t have another change of clothes for her. I met Mike (FIL) there who was waiting in the center to help watch Charlie while I was to get a 30 minute ultrasound done.
As I waiting in the waiting room Charlie quickly warmed up to Mike which made me feel good as she still doesn’t go well to anyone. A nurse came out and called my name. I went back and was given a nice warm pink robe and asked to sit in another waiting room. While I waited I thought this is the most time I have had to myself besides sleeping, it was a bit relaxing given the circumstances. An older lady sitting next to me in her robe started to speak to me saying how awful this was how she was spending her day. I proceeded to tell her I was just thinking how nice it was for me. I didn’t say anything further and she proceeded to ask me how much radiation I thought was emitted from the mammogram machines.
I was taken back to the ultrasound room. The tech was comforting telling me more than likely it was a blocked milk duct and I would be able to know exactly what the lump was. After about 10 minutes or so she became quiet and continued on with taking pictures. She left and went to get the doctor. He came in and introduced himself and said he was going to look over the pictures. He was able to tell me everything the lump wasn’t. He then told me he would recommend a biopsy because the lump had some concerning looks to it. I asked when I would have that done and he said later in the week hopefully.
I got dressed and met with another nurse who was going to schedule my biopsy. She asked me if I had the time now. I thought what she meant was do I have the time now to schedule the biopsy. What she meant was that do I have the time now for the biopsy. I said let me check with my father in law as I also have my baby here. She said it would take about an hour.
I then went back and was given another nice warm pink robe and sat once again in that relaxing room. I thought Im glad I can get this all taken care of now so I didn’t have to make the drive back down. I was now taken into another room and told everything that was going to take place. They were going to do an ultrasound guided biopsy. I had two nurses one of which who held my hand, the other conducted the ultrasound while the doctor performed the biopsy. The nurse asked me if I minded music and I told her I would like it. As the biopsy was performed I was shocked to hear Christian music playing. Then I hear the words in a song, “Jesus take my hand.” Those words made me feel more relaxed and I knew God was there in that room with me.
As I left, I told the nurses they made this experience today easy and comfortable. One of my nurses gave me a bag of snacks and chocolates as I left. It truly was a good experience today. The other nurse as I left walked with me to the outer waiting room and then asked me if she could hug me. At this point all my emotions rushed to me and I felt like crying. I felt like something was wrong and she knew it. I didn’t have time to cry and I said good-bye.