Entry 2: A Day of Waiting

Entry 2: A Day of Waiting

March 22, 2016

9:00pm Just about 4 hours ago I received a call from my doctor. I waited all day for this call and knew it would be coming either with good or not so good news. I had called the office earlier as I was in anticipation to hear but I had no luck.
When my cell phone rang a few hours later I thought it was Lenny as he calls right about that time everyday. I answered and it was my doctor. As she started to talk she began to stutter and right then I knew she was going to tell me the not so good news. Whats a bit surprising is I was in a way expecting the bad news.
For the last four weeks God has been working within me and I have been feeling the Holy Spirit directing me. This has been more powerful then I have ever experienced in all of my life. He has been preparing me for a challenge and I knew it was ahead of me. What I didn’t know was what it was going to entail. I’ve been starting my mornings with a study Ive been reading along with my bible.  With Lenny in Arizona these last three weeks I felt he was starting to prepare me for the next three months as Lenny is scheduled to be there till June 1st. Everything I read has appeared more meaningful than before. I have truly taken his word to heart and knew he was trying to get my attention.

Straight from my current bible study book “Anything” by Jennie Allen states: God has bigger purposes in allowing us to suffer, bigger than just winning. He allows us to suffer because we change through suffering. We hurt with others better. We become humble. We want him more.

The “Anything” study allows us to learn how to pray for God to do anything in our lives. It is a prayer of surrender  that allow us to do anything for him, Anything! “A prayer that will move us to stop chasing what makes us feel good and instead begin to live a life that matters.”

Earlier that morning I was guided in my bible to James 1:2 “Count it all joy, my bothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness” along with my “Anything” study where I read, “Go. Run. Fight. Do not just sit there feeling sorry for yourself. Run and fight. Let your shield be faith – you won’t need to be afford. You may get tired but you won’t forget why this war matters if you don’t forget me. You’ll fight bravely, like someone who knows she fights for a cause worth dying for. You’ll keep fighting if you see me. You have me with you- I am in you. Fight bravely because I am for you and I am with you.”

These last weeks God has prepared me. At least I felt at peace when I was on the phone with my doctor as she told me, “Your biopsy results came back you have cancer.” 

I know I will conquer this and I will fight it but I am at peace and I am not afraid. I know he has a reason for choosing me. I am not excited for facing this battle but I am very excited that these last few weeks along with the road ahead will build my relationship with our Lord even stronger.

With that I will Count this Breast cancer as a joy and will look forward to this journey with our Lord. 

Comments (10)

  • Wow, Tara! Thanks for sharing your joy and your journey of faith through this experience! We are praying for you!

  • This is beautiful. I am thankful for your relationship with God. We are here for anything you need.

  • I am so grateful for God’s preparation in your heart and mind before you got the news. He is a good and loving Father.
    Please Call me for help with kids, talk, or rest.
    970-389-9771
    You are not alone and will be praying for you and your family! Keep on keeping on!

  • Tara I have always seen you as a strong positive person. I am sad to hear of your news but know you will conquer this. Please let me know if I can help out in any way. I will be following your blog daily.

  • I love you sister!! You are one of the truly strongest women I know and I believe you will win this fight! Stay strong!!

  • Wow. I am sorry to hear about the cancer, but I am so happy God has prepared you for this very hard journey. I am sending prayers your way and wish you the best of luck.

  • Wow. I am so sorry to hear about the cancer. I am happy you have found the strength through God to fight this. Please know that I am sending thoughts and prayers your way.

  • Dearest Tara, thank you for sharing your story. I know Gods grace will carry you and your family though this journey. I will be praying for you, please know im just a block away. Love, June

  • Oh Tara, our hearts completely break for you. I am at a loss for words. Just know that much like your competitions, I look up to you and know you will overcome the obstacles ahead. Your children and we as your friends are always amazed at your strength, ability, faith, and love even through the hardest of times. Albert and I will continue to keep you and your family in our prayers. Let us know how we can be of any assistance!

  • Tara,
    I am so sorry to read of your diagnosis. You are an inspiring woman: your love for yourself and your family, your faith, your optimism. I look forward to your victorious journey, and thank you for allowing us to be a part of it. Please let me know if there is anything we can do to help you- we are never too busy! You are in our thoughts and prayers. Love, Jenn

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